Oh the Unexpected Places Our Children Take Us!

Oh, the unexpected places our children take us in life!

Our son James is nicknamed “Logic Man” in our family because he always makes well-thought-out choices. He was born with a more mature perspective than some adults ever achieve.

So we were amazed when he called to say he was getting married in Tokyo about 10 days later.

This is the Japanese version of a Justice Of The Peace marriage. Two more traditional wedding ceremonies will follow next year – one in back yard and one in Japan. Wow, will they be well-married after all this celebrating!

I love it.



Our new inlaws, Shinji and Kaoru Torisawa.

Giving as Life Celebration

More and more, significant life events by the blessed with excess set — such as landmark birthday and anniversary parties, bar and bat mitzvahs and later-in-life marriages — are celebrated with requests to donate to charities or participate in local service projects in lieu of gifts.

If you too are plenty blessed and want ideas for where to give when next the opportunity arises, you will find outstanding nonprofits in the Better List.

What’s Love Got To Do With Health? Almost Everything

What’s Love Got To Do With Health? Almost Everything
Particularly The Love Of A Woman

Since the 1940s, psychologists have had proof that love and strong social ties keep people healthier.
– Couples in long term marriages live longer and healthier.
– Strong social ties without marriage keep people healthier too.

Who is most likely to do the hard emotional work in a marriage? Women
And who maintains social networks? Women – of course.

The data is unequivocal – good women are good for the health of humanity.

Thanks to Dr. Tamara Sher of the Family Institute of Northwestern University for making this clear, and for sage advice on Health: What’s Love Got To Do With It at a Circle of Knowledge luncheon yesterday. Recommended: the rest of the Circle of Knowledge series too:

Loving Well In A Complicated Time
Intimacy & Love In the African American Community

Keeping The Flame Alive: Passion, Desire and Intimacy in Marriage
Strengthening the Relationship Between Adults And Their Parents

2 Weddings & a Vow

Yesterday was a two-wedding day! We attended the weddings of:

Katie Austgen & Andrew Albright (Pat’s U Michigan teammate & roommate)

Annie Stanley & Grant Hendricks (daughter of good friends and the girl that son Nick took to his Junior Prom).

Above is a drawing by the bride’s mother, the amazing Sal Stanley.

Each ceremony and celebration were crafted with love and full of connections, promise, light, creativity, privilege, joy.
My life was made much better by being included as a guest.

I vow to be a better wife, mother, friend, connector because of this too.

1 Chorinthians 13, 4 – 7.
“Love is patient; love is kind and envies noone…”

Why We Made It To 29

To celebrate our 29th Anniversary today, Nick & I tried to hike the “Walk Of The Gods” high above the Amalfi, Italy coastline.

It is spectacular. Absolutely spectacular. A trail carved into the mountains above 1 mile above sea level, which winds between vineyards terraced up the mountain – when it isn’t next to a several thousand foot cliff.

Those drop-offs, though, terrified me. Panic struck. I just couldn’t do it. Nick bounds ahead admiring the view and taking photos. I struggle to stay focused on the dry, pebble strewn path and just take the next step.

Eventual, I just sat myself down, struggling to breath, and announced that I couldn’t go further.

Without a pause, Nick responded, “no problem, let’s just go back.”

God love him! We discussed this for several years and traveled several thousand miles to do this hike together. And he didn’t give me even one word of objection to my changing our plans.

This is why we will stay married another 29 years.

Next year, we’re celebrating with this: